Uncensored 2000

- March 19th 2000
- Attendance: 5,000
- Buyrate: 0.13 (Found online)

Opening video focuses on Lex/Sting, Hulk/Flair and then Jarrett/Sid. Three matches I doubt many wanted to see in 2000. This PPV has a story in that Jarrett has stolen a doughnut and Sid must find it before PPV ends .... okay I made that up but it would of made this PPV 1000x better due to Sid's hilarious acting/promo ability, sometimes him pulling some of his faces that he did during promos will pop in my head and i'll just start laughing.

Lex Luger, Flair and Liz enter the arena then we see Sid Vicious and Hulk Hogan chatting. There's a black limo with a mystery guy in that's associated with Jarrett.

Cruiserweight Title - The Artist (c) w/ Paisley Vs. Psicosis (w/ Juvi Gurrera)
 The artist was formerly known as Prince Iaukea, his gimmick must be inspired by the musician Prince as he has changed his name like Prince, his valet is called Paisley and there's Purple involved (I knew watching Columbo would one day pay off). Psicosis may moonlight as the white power ranger as to me he looks just like him here. Chris Candido comes out and joins commentary. Hurricanrana by Psi then a dive to outside, The champion takes control for a while, gets a 2 count off a superkick. It looks like Psi is wrestling a civilian due to Artist's attire. Top rope hurricanrana gets the challenger a 2 count. Juvi kisses Paisley at ringside. The ending is just slightly stupid as Psicosis stands around whilst Artist gets in position to hit a jumping DDT off the top rope for the 3 count. *1/2 - Docked a 1/2 for the ending which made Psicosis look real stupid(er - Mwa-Ha-Ha). Match wasn't much before that either.

Mean Gene talks to Bam Bam Bigelow about his match with The Wall.

XS (Lane and Rave) Vs. The Screaming Demons (Norman Smiley and The Demon)
 Norman deserves better than this (as do the fans). Miss Hancock joins commentary, her skirt is that little that at times it looks like she's only got a jacket on. XS attack pre-bell. Fans cheer for Norman's wiggle. Demon tags in but he is double teamed, 'Norman' chant. I don't know what happens during a double clothesline spot but it certainly doesn't look right. Norman's in cleaning house, fans like his wiggle. Skull Crushing Finale to Norm but Demon breaks the pin. Norman applies the Norman Conquest (Chicken Wing) for the submission victory. Post match Mrs Hancock does the Wiggle. *1/2 - Crowd liked Norman as do I but the match itself was poor with some bad spots. Normans popularity would mean nothing to the WCW Higher Ups of course.

Backstage to see Booker and Kidman have a chat and then David Flair, Crowbar and Daffney have a good old chinwag (am I watching Coronation Street or a PPV).

Bam Bam Bigelow Vs. The Wall
 Fans cheer Bam Bam. Wall wins a punch off. Bam Bam hits a slam and a diving headbutt for a 2 count. Wall avoids Greetings From Asbury Park or Rikishi Driver for WWF fans. There's a light table chant, it may even be the wrestlers doing it. Cactus Clothesline leads to fighting in the entrance way where Wall Chokeslams Bigelow through a table, tablising(?) people was his thang .... Get The Tab, oh sorry wrong promotion. The ref ends it after the Chokeslam as I assume he just didn't want to watch it any more. *1/2 - Just a brawl basically with a weird ending in that I don't know if Wall wins via stoppage or it's ruled a no contest.

David Flair and Crowbar attack Wall after the match, he had put them through tables in previous weeks, this ends with Crowbar being Chokeslammed off the entrance way which to be fair did look decent but after Foley everything else, bar Shane McMahon at SummerSlam is meh. (KOTR also raised the bar for HIACs as well as bumps)

Hardcore Title - 3 Count (c) Vs. Brian Knobs 
 The 3 of 3 Count pinned Knobs to win the title though surely only the one actually on top of Knobs, oh-uh, would be champion? Knobs has to beat all 3 members to get the win. Weapons shots are traded, Pity City to all three but Helms survives as he has a facemask on due to broken nose, #ArmPityPsycology! 3 Count hit various splashes off a ladder, Tony claims Shannon Moore misses his Swanton but I don't think he did, thankfully Knobs is a-okay just moments later and soon pins Shane Helms after a chair shot meaning it's now 2-on-1. Evan is powerbombed through a table, the same way that Road Dogg would be at KOTR 2000, leaving just Shannon Moore vs. Brian Knobs. Shannon does pin Knobs but ref then says his foot was on the ropes so match is restarted, why would hardcore match have rope breaks? Knobs splashes Moore with a trashcan for the 3 Count and the Hardcore Championship. Mike Tenay says the title now has credibility as Knobs is the holder. *1/2 - So Brian Knobs goes over 3 guys in one match, uhhh. The usual lacklustre hardcore match which you could trade with any from the WWF or WCW archives and nobody would notice.

Booker/Kidman Vs. Harlem Heat 2000 (Stevie Ray/Big-T w/ Kash)
 Where's the T gone Booker? Big-T is Ahmed Johnson the injury prone WWF 'star'. This match makes me want to watch The Jerk (Which I still haven't done as of 7th October 2015 working my way through The Flash and Happy Days S3. In a WCW style twist it is now December 2nd 2019 and I have now watched the jerk but never did finish Flash or Happy Days, Flash I probably never will but Happy Days I'll dip back into when I find it). Kicks all round from Book-A! Kidman is now playing face-in-peril as Harlem Heat 2000 have him isolated and Cash gets cheap shots. Big-T actually dives over the guardrail like a cat, albeit Garfield, to hit Kidman. Back in Kidman hits a bulldog, or DDT if you believe Tony. Booker comes in hitting BookEnds to Big-T and Stevie but is soon double spinebustered by HH 2000, or sideslammed if you believe Tony. Kidman gets the 3 when he rolls up Big-T, even though Kidman wasn't the legal man. ** - Didn't suck like I was expecting it too bear in mind HH 2000 were in a match so bad at Spring Stampede 2000 that I broke my own rule and gave it 0. I like tag psychology and we got that with Kidman being isolated. No botches bar the commentary.

Falls Count Anywhere - Vampiro Vs. Fit Finlay
 (There's styles clash then there's Vampiro Vs. Finlay) Fit looks like Knobs so either they were a synchronised tag team or shared their ring attire. Both men have casts after Luger attacks yet don't use it to their advantage here. Tony explains Pinfalls Count Anywhere rules because the name alone isn't a giveaway. Charles Robinson actually stops Finlay using a chair for some reason, Vampiro soon kicks it into Fits face. Fight into the crowd. I assume they were watching Great American Bash 1996 pre match as they fight into the toilets. Vampiro dives off a stall earning points for originality. Don't know where they are now but the lighting is atrocious, a fan pushes one of the security guys over, Vampiro hits Nail In The Coffin on the concrete for the 3 count. *1/2 - Rubbish brawling and atrocious lighting at the end, unless they just tried to help fans by not letting us see it properly.

WCW Tag Titles - The Mamalukes (c) w/ Disco Inferno Vs. Harris Brothers
 It's No DQ yet they still tag in, Disco joins commentary. TMs are Big Vito and Johnny The Bull and I haven't a scooby which Harris is which so they shall  be In-Ring baldy and apron Baldy, a tactic I previously debuted for Skull and 8-Ball  matches .... wait a minute! The match has a free TV feel to it, keeping in line with the previous matches #Continuity. Johnny is isolated by the Brothers but Disco claims he is using the rope-a-dope tactic. Cool tag to Vito who cleans house, Hart Attack is done to a Harris Brother. Disco hits a Harris with a Title Belt but it only gets a 2 count. Harris uses the belt on the Mamalukes and a H-Bomb to Vito gets the 3 count as new champions are crowned. *1/2 - Yet another poor match, this PPV is looking unlikely to top even Spring Stampede 2000's score though SS 2000 may still be worse based on averages. It got something like 14/70 but still this PPV is real bad .... real bad.

Mean Gene chats with Flair and Lex Luger.

Bull Rope Match - Terry Funk Vs. Dustin Rhodes
 A man in a chicken suit attacks Dustin then Terry hits him with a frozen chicken, this PPV has somehow sunk even lower. They're not yet tied to the rope it's just being used as a weapon, it has a cow bell on it. A low blow allows Dustin some offence and we get Terry doing the see saw in the ropes bit. The rope is now applied to the wrists, a DDT gets Dustin a 2 count. Bulldogs is signalled to no reaction, it gets a 2 count. The guy in a chicken suit comes back out but Dustin hits him and I didn't think we could sink any lower (So sunk lower than we did at the start putting us on a lower lower level which I don't believe actually exists, another WCW first). Funk low blows Dustin w/ the cowbell and decides to make it 'I Quit' rules but the ref doesn't do that in the end. Some of Terry's word are beeped out on a PPV named Uncensored (Dustin also had a match censored at Uncensored 1995 the one on a moving truck I think against Smash from Demolition), Dustin shouts I Quit and even though it isn't an I Quit match for me that is a submission still, Dustin hits Terry with the cowbell, over does for me, then Piledrives Terry onto the bell for the 3 count. * - That really wasn't very good at all (As if the * wasn't a big enough indication)

Lumberjack Match - Sting Vs. Lex Luger
 Some of the Lumberjacks are people Lex attacked and have casts on - Jimmy Hart, Doug Dellinger, Curt Henning, Finlay, Knobs and Vampiro and some are people Lex brings out - Harlem Heat 2000, Hugh Morrus and Harris Brothers, who have got casts on to even things up. Sting is on top but it's just punches and kicks. Stevie Ray and Big-T are laughing at ringside, probably at people who paid for this PPV. Lex is attacked by Lumberjacks but his guys come and save him then we get the same bit but with Sting being attacked. The high point of the PPV right here - Mark Madden 'Sting got hit with so many casts he's walking around like he's plastered right now'. Tank Abbott wonders out and punches Doug Dellinger and leaves. Most of the lumberjacks brawl backstage, Flair and Liz come out and take out Vampiro. Flair attacks Sting who soon fights back Liz hits Sting with a baseball bat leading to Lex applying the Torture Rack but Vampiro hits Lex with the bat and a Scorpion Deathdrop finished Lex Luger off. *1/2 - Uh this PPV is getting real bad though that match didn't fall to the depths of the Dustin/Terry match thankfully (That may not of been possible to be fair)

WCW Title - Sid Vicious (c) Vs. Jeff Jarrett 
 Some lackey backstage tells Sid the format has changed and his match is on now. Jeff avoids a Chokeslam with an eye poke. Great bit ringside where Sid pours water over Jeff then does an axe handle off the announce table and slips on the water. Fighting through the crowd then Harris Brothers attack Sid. Jeff applies a sleeper hold. Heel miscommunication as a Harris hits Jeff with the WCW  Title. Jeff elbows the ref as every WCW Title match needs a ref bump, hits Sid with a guitar, a new ref comes out but Hogan stops the count, no reaction for Hulk, he beats on the heels and Leg Drops Jeff so Sid gets the 3 count to retain the title. *1/2 - Yawn.

Scott Steiner attacks Hogan after the match, he was in the limo, Ric Flair runs out and we go straight to -

Strap Match - Hulk Hogan Vs. Ric Flair
 Touch all 4 Corners to win, remember that folks. Hogan no sells some chops as they fight ringside, Jimmy Hart has come out. Hogan whips Flir leading to a Flair Flop. Thumb to the eye turns the match to Flairs advantage. When they go ringside you get a good look at how empty the place is. Hogan does his corner punches and bite, Flair is bleeding then does his caught up top bit. Jimmy Hart whips Naitch as now Hulk and Ric are fighting in entranceway, Lex Luger comes out and hits Hulk straight on the bonce with a chair. Hogan is now bleeding. Back in Flair goes for Hulks leg which to be fair does make sense, Ric touches 3 corners then Hulk stops the 4th one being touched. Brass knucks shot to Hulk gets a 2 count, in a touch all four corners match. Hulk Hulks Up touches 3 corners, fights off Lex Luger, pins Naitch and then touches the final corner. *1/2 - Even without the stupid ending this was tedious at best, did the ref screw up by counting or did he just think he'd go with the flow instead of telling Hulk he got it wrong? The Hogan/Flair feud mattered in 1994, I believe that years BATB got real good numbers for that time and that was based purely on 1980s NWA Vs. 1980s WWF Figureheads in my opinion but by 2000 the feud was a joke and in no way should've got the nod over a WCW Title match to go on last.

17.5 / 55 - Stating the obvious I know but that is real bad, a whole 10 points under .500. Nearly every match got *1/2 and that wasn't me being lazy the matches really were that poor. When the top two things on a PPV are a Mark Madden joke and a match involving Harlem Heat 2000 then you know there's problems.
 This was the PPV before WCW hit the reset button on April 10th 2000 and stripped all the titles, the PPV following that moment, and the next PPV after this,Spring Stampede  was arguably even worse than this - http://wcwppvs.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/spring-stampede-2000.html and didn't set WCW on a new better path.